When Diamond Shopping Goes Wrong
I love sharing my engagement ring story with anyone who will listen. I don’t talk about it to embarrass my husband (let’s call him Befuddled Bob, or BB for short); I share it to highlight the importance of clear communication because I thought I had done all the right things. We had gone ring shopping together, I had given him general ideas of what I liked, and then I let things be. That’s how I thought couples did it. But would I do things differently now? Absolutely.
The first mistake was going to the mall; It’s because I didn’t want to make it a big deal or make BB feel like I was taking too much control. So instead of doing some research and finding a store that had an eye for design, we just went off to the mall to window shop at random stores.
The second mistake was not giving myself permission to look at different diamond sizes. BB hadn’t mentioned a budget or told me not to try on larger stones; it was all in my head. I didn’t want to ask for too much, even though I didn’t even know what too much was.
The biggest mistake was not clearly communicating. To set BB up for success, here’s what I told him: “I want a unique ring, I love pink, I like a nice round diamond, I want a ring set in white gold, I liked all the styles I tried on, and my ring size is 5.5.” Really, the only good and clear information in there was my ring size! 🤣
BB, being a man who isn’t telepathic, has never worn jewelry, and isn’t a gemologist, heard: “She wants an engagement ring different from everything we’ve seen because none of the ones she tried on stood out enough for her. The ring has to have pink color, and the diamond doesn’t matter as long as it’s round and nice.”
And what did BB do with that information? He went to yet another random mall jeweler. Someone who didn’t know me, my tastes, or how my hands look, and he asked that jeweler to create MY perfect ring with whatever size diamond the jeweler thought was ‘nice’.
So, what did I get? Brace yourself for this one. A double-band engagement ring, half in bright pink gold, not rose gold, a bright pink reminiscent of fake gaudy MH gold and the other half in white. A clash of colour that could make even a peacock blush. And to top it off, it was set with a 0.5ct round diamond, a HALF CARAT. To put that in to perspective, an ant is longer than that diamond! I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the ring, it was nothing like what I had imagined or hoped for.
What did I do? Well of course I said yes, after all, the marriage to BB is what was important and I wore that ring consistently for almost 5 years. Then slowly, I stopped wearing it, until finally one day, I decided to truly get what I wanted. That’s when I actually set BB up for success and did things right.
I talked to BB… actually, let’s now call him Triumphant Tim or TT for short. I talked to TT and told him that I wanted to get a new ring. One that I would wear not just because it symbolized his love for me, but because it was also a symbol of me and my taste. TT and I spoke clearly about my style, about diamond sizes and price points. With that information, I did research and found Stór by Margot, not a random mall jeweller. Together we designed a new engagement ring and set it with a diamond that was finally my kind of ‘nice’.
So ladies, set your partners up for success. Be as clear as possible about what you want without shame or shyness. It’s something YOU will be wearing; your taste matters the most. And don’t even get me started on the proposal; That story is for another day!
-Christina
